When we take a close look at the root cause of toxic leadership, more often than not, it is narcissism or one who is totally self absorbed. Interesting, many times one might hear rhetoric from the narcissist giving accounts of how giving or self sacrificing he or she might be but the red flag is the fact the toxic leader feels compelled to advertise this in one way or another. Consider the hypothetical of a church directional leader who schedules a press conference announcing a new initiative or the results of a current initiative and then calling an “all hands on deck” (one of dozens called throughout the year) for staff to leave their duties to fill seats at the press conference and give the appearance to the media there is general community interest. On the surface it appears good things are happening but packing the audience with staff and taking staff away from their jobs serves no other purpose than to bolster the narcissistic ego.
We see narcissistic leadership on a daily basis in many organizations. Excessive ego or self absorption seems to be a common factor for many for those higher on the organizational ladder. Consider the hypothetical situations of a college dean who refuses the hiring of a qualified faculty person because of a personal issue with the organization from which the potential faculty member comes or the refusal of a police chief to initiate an internal investigation because it involves his friends. Both of these serve as examples where the leadership is self absorbed and “doing the right thing” takes a back seat to self interest. We all have tendencies to look at circumstances from our own viewpoint, however, good critical thinking should kick in when deciding to take the higher road to do what is morally right in decisions that affect others within the organization.
The narcissist constantly seeks affirmation. Followers seek affirmation through the narcissist. It’s a very toxic relationship. Some psychologists would suggest the narcissistic leader has failed in some way to regress and ascertain the origin of the low self esteem or the need to constantly seek affirmation. Subsequently, it makes sense for followers of a narcissistic leader to do the same. Many times you will find alcohol, substance abuse, or other addictive behaviors generously interspersed with the middle or upper management staff who do the bidding for a narcissistic leader. By no means is church world exempt from having employees in elevated positions having addictive or dysfunctional behaviors. They, too, require affirmation but from the leader or even by virtue of being employed by the organization.
Typically, narcissism can be traced to some event or events in early childhood possibly involving parental expectations or behaviors. The spouse of the narcissist has somehow managed to cope or adapt and even manifests behaviors similar to the dominant spouse and thus perpetuates the dysfunction in the family structure. Strangely, some of the offspring may readily identify the narcissism experienced at home with the parents and at some point face the choice of either accepting or rejecting the behavior as normal. Older children in the family tend to be all in or all out with accepting parental narcissism. Like any learned behavior narcissistic tendencies can be ingrained in the offspring if they themselves have not evolved with fully integrated personalities. Family of origin issues can not be underestimated when looking at the root cause of narcissism.
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