After the narcissist is gone and the dust has settled it’s interesting to view the reactions of people the toxic leader affected. Like Nazi Germany in the mid to late 1940’s many of those who did the bidding of the narcissistic leader remain. Their commentary sometimes ranges from, “I was only doing my job and what I was told to do,” to “I knew he was a problem and secretly did things to sabotage him,” as if this makes their clandestine activity okay if it ever existed in the first place. Then there are the stalwarts who think nothing was ever wrong. “He may have had some quirky things about him but nothing that warranted his removal.” Typically, these people developed a close relationship with the narcissistic leader and/or his family and may have reaped gifts or rewards in the process of the work relationship.
Denial is usually the driving factor for the malignant narcissist. On the way out the door there may be innuendos or implications of retribution on his part to get even. Yes, as crazy as it sounds, this happens in church world. God or submission to a higher power has little or nothing to do with damage control or healing. The once Camelot feeling of the church when it was doing well is now in the throes of people doing what they do best, i.e. submitting to their own will and ego.
There is more and more information being done regarding extreme narcissism but much work still needs to be done. Can narcissists be repaired? Yes but like the compulsive gambler, alcoholic, or drug addict narcissism is so engrained in the person’s psyche that intensive psychotherapy is usually the only route to take. Like any personality dysfunction the root causes are sometimes many and are complex with events and formation stemming back to early childhood years. More often than not, the deposed narcissist goes on to anticipated greener pastures or to an area many miles from the locale of the church. Further, during this regrouping the narcissist is always seeking the retribution that will validate his dysfunction in his own mind whether it’s starting a new or slightly different church organization/not for profit or attempting to cause internal havoc in the originating church from a distance. Once again, the malignant narcissist feels he’s normal and that’s the saddest part. In speaking to a psychologist once about an extremely narcissistic person who was brought to therapy the dysfunction was very evident. The subject gave a resume complete with references when confronted about behavioral issues, indicating I’ve done this, this and this, and you can ask so and so, so and so, and so and so. The subject was 60+ years of age. After the session, it was asked about the possibility for change to occur with therapy. The psychologist’s response was not encouraging. He simply replied, “The behavior is too far engrained. It will probably never happen.”
ronharperleadership 